Unspeakable joy…


1Peter 1:8-9 (NLT)
You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for your trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

This verse struck me today. It amazes me…even though I have never seen Him as a person, I have still seen Him in people, in situations, in creation, and in action and YES I love Him and trust Him and YES it gives me GREAT joy.

Mother’s Day…


I have always loved being a mom and Mother’s Day has always meant so much to me. It means so much for a couple of reasons… First because I love my mom, Second, because it reminds me of how blessed I am to be a mom. I have two wonderful sons of whom I am very proud.

When I was a teenager I wished so badly to have a baby. I just knew if I had a baby to love and who would love me all of my childhood pain would disappear. I thank God today that He didn’t allow me to get pregnant.

When I was married the first time, I was so desperate to start a family. I wanted to show the world how to raise and love a child. We began trying less than a year after we were married. I had two miscarriages while with my first husband. We tried for nearly three years before we split up (for totally different reasons).

I never used birth control because it really messed me up. So getting pregnant was always a possibility. I met my boys’ dad and we were together 4 months when I got pregnant. I was so excited and scared at the same time. I wouldn’t allow myself to show the excitement because I was afraid I would jinx myself and miscarry again.

I loved being pregnant! It was the coolest thing ever. I remember the excitement the very first time i felt him move. I wasn’t plagued with morning sickness and I loved going into the produce section at the grocery store. I could smell every fruit as if I had it right up to my nose. It was great! When it was time, I had the most beautiful baby boy I had ever laid eyes on.

I absolutely love being a mom…. Three years later I had my second adorable son. Now they are 20 and 17. I still love being a mom. I miss having them depend on me for everything and I wish there were things I could go back and re-do for their sakes. However, they are the most awesome, loving, smart, talented boys a mom could ask for. I am proud to be their mom and I thank God for the opportunity to raise up some great young men.

Today, I wasn’t able to be with my boys but they called me and that meant a lot. I was with another wonderful mom, my mother-in-law. She has also raised a wonderful son, my husband. I hope that I can be a mom-in-law like her some day. She is my remodel for my future family. I love her with all my heart and I am so grateful to her for raising such an awesome man for me.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Proverbs 31:25-29 (NLT)
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

Hebrews 12:5-6


Today a good friend sent me a text and it touched my heart. I thought it may touch your heart as well.

Hebrews 12:5-6
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.”

Hebrews 12:5-6 (NLT)
And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,
“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

This ministered to me today because it reminds me that, the Lord has got me on His mind. Knows when to apply pressure to change my thinking and behavior in order to be a true example of His Son! Wow, He would choose me. Be encouraged today. You are chosen and royal!

Jesus in the middle…


Twelve years ago today, I married the man God gifted me with. He was an answer to the cry of my heart. Psalm 37:4 says, Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. I am grateful today for my husband who loves me and still romances me after 12 years. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE! May the Lord allow us to have another hundred years together and eternity after that.

Nobody gave us a snowballs chance in you know where. BUT GOD… Had other plans for us.

Do you know what the chances are for a couple who have used drugs together and it was the basis of their relationship are for staying together when they get sober? I don’t exactly know either, but I know it is slim to none. Unless of course Jesus is in the middle of it.

When children choose to disobey…


If you have children you will get this. If you don’t you probably know someone who has children and still might get this or maybe you were one of these children. I was.

Defiant – boldly resisting authority or an opposing force.

When your children choose to be defiant no matter how many times you tell them or show them how to do things the right way there comes a time when you have to step back and say, “Ok. Have it your way.” Knowing full well there will be consequences. You as the parent wishing full well they would just listen to you because you know what’s best. It’s easy for us as parents to see the painful road ahead, none the less, they are determined to do things their way. Just as we are determined to do things our way, the Lord will also say, ” Have it your way.”

I spent the better part of my adult life doing things my way. Running from the call God had on my life. Running came with a huge price. It meant broken marriages, and it cost me custody of my children. It also meant homelessness and drug addiction.

My third husband and I lived in a tent on a creek. We lived lives as out casts, broken, rejected by society, family and friends because of our addiction and criminal behavior. We burnt bridges that the only hope of restoration would have to have our Lord Jesus right in the middle of it.

As any addict, I was always running for drugs or running from the law or people I owed money to. I was mostly running from myself and all the shame and guilt. I just wanted the pain to stop. Somehow I always ran into something or someone that would remind me of the call God had on my life. The call was getting more and more difficult to run from. I knew the running was going to come to an end eventually.

When someone loves you so much, they are willing to do what ever it takes to reach you. If they can’t reach you one way they will try another way. Sometimes the consequences can be severe, but eventually the lifestyle will catch up with you. Thank God, He is God and promises to NEVER leave you or forsake you. (Deut. 31:8)

Jesus ALWAYS meets you right where you are at. Sometimes that might be in jail, in the hospital, in a drug house, even in the bathroom somewhere where you are getting high. BUT no matter where you are or what you are doing He will meet you there. I could never get high enough or run far enough to not hear God’s voice. Don’t get me wrong, I tried… I tried to the point of overdosing. (Romans 8:39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below– indeed, NOTHING in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NLT))

He would remind me that I was a child of God, that I was more than a conqueror, that he loved me so much He died for me. He waited for me patiently to come to the end of myself. I was reminded of the call that I had been running from. I was reminded of all the hurting people just like me that need to be pointed to the cross. I was reminded of how much my own children needed me.

You see, I was carrying a cross that wasn’t mine to bare. I didn’t get it. I thought I deserved to carry around shame, guilt, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, addiction, and emotional pain from childhood abuse. For a while I thought I wore a neon sign that said, “Abuse me” or “I’ve been abused so abuse me more.” I thought I deserved to be treated like Rahab (Joshua 6), the woman at the well (John 4) or Mary Magdalene(Luke 8) because I was all of them.

Then one day I saw myself in a broken heap. When I looked up there I was at the foot of the cross and there was Jesus with His arms outstretched and as He looked down at me with His ever loving eyes full of compassion. He said, “Do you want to be free?” Of course I did! He said, “Then leave those horrible things here at my feet. I have already paid the price for them.” Then He reached down and lifted me up. I said, “Lord, you know I can’t do it. I’m weak.” Then He said, ” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

As I looked at the cross, there I saw everything I had been carrying around nailed to the cross covered in His blood. I buried my face in His chest and began to weep for it was then I began to receive my healing and deliverance.

Everyday I pray and ask Jesus to allow my reflection to reveal Him, and I thank Him everyday for my freedom because the Son has set me free and I am free indeed. (John 8:36)

He is Risen!


I hope everyone had a blessed Resurrection Day! Mine was filled with many blessings, surrounded by family and loved ones.

John 20:19-22

That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! Again he said “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”