Here it is …


Wow! It’s August already. Where does the time go?

I still think about my mom nearly everyday. It’s getting easier but I still miss her horribly and some days I still break down and cry.

I’m still taking care of my dad who is on hospice. He’s a very difficult man most of the time. He’s demanding, most of the time ungrateful, self-centered, and very moody. Sometimes it’s so hard to be around him and I find myself getting angry and resentful towards him. I feel like I don’t have time to deal with his attitudes.

I am still working full time and just started my internship for school. So I am working about 56 hrs. a week at this point. I really like my internship site. I still love my job of course. At the end of August school will start again. Whew! It will be like this for the next thirteen months.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Still here…


Well I’ve made it through with my sobriety in tact. I know that by confessing my faults or in this case my weakness to those around me the prayers of a righteous man availeth much. A lot of people were praying and I wouldn’t be clean and sober if it weren’t for those prayers because I don’t know how I pushed through but for the grace of God. Thank you, if you were one of those who prayed.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16

Celebration of Life


We celebrated Mom’s life this past Thursday the 29th. It was a beautiful service and there were lots of people there. Mom touched a lot of lives and left her imprint on many hearts. I learned a lot about my mom that day. My mom was known for her love of people and how she was always helping those in need. She didn’t have money to give but what she have was far more previous than wealth. She loved and shared her wisdom. My mom and I had our differences and were never as close as I desired to be but Thursday for the first time in my life I was proud to be her daughter and proud every time someone told me I looked like my mom. I realized that I am who I am because of her. She is where I got my love for people and the desire to help others. I miss my mom so much and have wanted to call her many times this week. It’s hard when those feelings come over me. I wish I would have appreciated her more and told her I loved her more. I wish I would have spent more time with her. I could wish myself to death with all the things I wish I would have done. I can’t allow myself to sit in that place for long. I know she is with The Lord and life here must move forward. Mom left behind an awesome legacy of love and wisdom. I vow to carry it on and pass it to the next generation.

Still clean and sober.


Mom went home to be with The Lord on Tuesday the 21st. All of her kids were by her side and some of the grand kids too. I miss her so much and I still don’t think the reality of it all has set in. Her Celebration of Life is Thursday the 29th. Please continue to lift up my family in prayer. Mom was an awesome lady and loved by many.

Dad is hanging in there. He took Mom’s death pretty hard even though they were no longer together I believe he still loved her. He is also heartbroken that us kids have to go through losing both our parents so close together.

Again, thank you for your prayers.

If losing one parent wasn’t enough…


Yesterday afternoon my mom who also lives near me, went into sudden cardiac arrest. She was without oxygen for at least 10 mins. The paramedics pumped her full of drugs and shocked he 5 times before they got a pulse. She is on full life support at this time. They have lowered her body temperature and will begin rewarming her in the morning and then begin neurological testing. She is a believer and doesn’t want to be a vegetable and remain on life support for an extended period of time. We are asking for God’s will in her life. Please pray for my brothers, Mike & Chris, also my sister Debbie and my step-dad Don, for strength and wisdom to do what is best for mom. I’m also asking for prayer for myself as I am struggling to find answers of why God would choose to take both of my parents in such a close amount of time. Dad is still hanging in there and I’m hoping for a miracle for him. I don’t know how to lose one parent let alone two and continue in my sobriety. I’m scared and I have so much to lose if I fall. Thank you.

Grief II


My dad is home. We met with hospice. Family keeps coming. I am exhausted physically and emotionally. And yet… God is still on the throne and very much in control. I’m still hoping for a miracle but more than anything I want God’s will. I know my dad has been praying for the last year for The Lord to take him home. He’s been in pain and at times can’t take care if himself and that really bothers him. Looking at him right now you wouldn’t know he was dying. He can still laugh and crack jokes. I’m a little afraid of hospice coming in and taking over but the nurse today was really kind. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Grief


Today I am asking for prayer for me and my family. My dad is dying and doesn’t have much time left. He’s still young in my books. He’s 67. I’m not ready to let him go. I know that is selfish but it’s truth. Please pray. Thank you.